hmm.. Forgiveness

Forgivness. This is what i've been thinking lately. It's not because i hold a grudge on somebody right now and also not about sentimental issue. I've been browsing through the picture and the life of the ex-friends that had betrayed me a long time ago. To tell you the truth, i don't really feel the pain anymore. I also start to wonder why.. I still remember the days when i cried almost everyday, trying to forget their betrayal and rejection, trying to be normal again, trying to smile again and trying to be happy. Through out the whole processes i've learn a lot.. I know what He means by following his path, i know how to depends on Him, i know what true love and appreciation really means.
But, if you ask me again do i really forgive them? My answer is i don't know. This is due to my own confusion.. I've got a lovely family here, i have a lot friends that i'm sure they'll stay by my side, i've got happiness that i've been dreaming for and at last.. I CAN BE MYSELF.. But, do i forgive them or i only able to let them go? Because, now everytime i see them i can still feel a light pinch in my heart. It's not as painful as before, but it's enough to make me think again and again about forgiveness. I just keep on wondering, when i really can forgive them? When will i be able to see them as a mere university mate that just stop by in my life and gone?
I really wonder, and i really hope that someday i can face them and sincerely smile to them....

ps: there's few things that they really teach me: Don't choose friends base on your race, don't choose your friends over God and don't choose friends only because he/she has a title on their hand.

Lazy Day

"Today I dont feel like doing anything"
"I just wanna lay in my bed"

this song really suits me now..
Btw, do i have assignment? Yes!
When is the due date for all assignment? A week after mid semester break..
Have start write a single word? Not yet!
Then, what did you do recently? Going out, watch movie, lazying around and forgetting my assignment..
Do you have test soon? Yup!
Have you open your book? Not yet!
When is the test? A week after deepavali..
Don't you worry? Yes I am...
Why don't you start study then? I am too lazy...

"Today I don't feel like doing anything"

Miracle Happen today!!

Post hari ini: Pergi gereja kesiangan....

Setelah kemaren maen sampe nggeblak di Genting, akhinya aku harus kembali ke dunia nyata.. Dunia bermain belajar .. Malem-malem masih belain kerja assignment daripada besok harus pulang pagi n gak sempet nonton bioskop . Selesai kerja, jam 3 sudaan.. (berdoa biar besok bisa bangun) n langsung tidur ...

zzzzzzzz *mimpi main di genting lagi* zzzzzzzz

*rrrr, rrrr, rrrr* Mata masih nutup, angkat telepon .... buka mata setengah, liat sapa yang telfon (Esteranza Victor Junior)... hmm, liat jam... hmmm... WHAT THE **** !!! Udah jam setengah 8!!! Baru bangun...
*angkat telfon*
A: Lia, where are u??
L: Ajusshi, i just wake up, nevermind laa.. U all go....
A: ok2.. sleep laaa...
*tutup telfon, proceeding to the next dream land*...

Inget2, minggu lalu uda bangun kesiangan.. Kalo hari ini gak ke greja, berarti 2 minggu berturut2 gak pergi. Belum lagi kalo minggu depan kesiangan lagi *maklum, biasanya dirumah diguyur air * ... Bangun cepet2, sikat gigi, cuci muka, gak pake mandi, ganti, turun!!! Yeah, skor baru !! 10 menit sudah siap ke gereja!!! Yuhuuu~~~~
Turun berdoa kuat2 , Tuhan 1 bis, 1 bis aja!! Udah bis disini cuma 1 yg lewat... 1.. 1... 1... Gak sampe 5 menit, bis dateng !!!
On the way, bbm temen di gereja minta dikasi tau kalo misa uda mulai... doa lagi.. Tuhan, semoga nyampe sebelum bacaan pertama, sebelum bacaan pertama... Bis berenti langsung kabur... Nyampe gereja.. Yeah, baru selesai nyanyian pembukaan ..
Thanks God!!! It really make my day!! He really heard his children prayer when it comes from the bottom of their heart!!!! Jarang2 bis 302 lewat 1 jam lebih dari sekali, n jarang2 perjalanan makan waktu kurang dari setengah jam... *sigh* really miracle...

Sampe di gereja, menggeh2 ....

I'm Back!!

Hi people!! i'm back to blog.. Hmm, my blog full of dust and spider web already...
Well, i come back not without reason, i come back because i want to spit my feelings like what i've done before.
Ok, so what kind of feelings do i feel lately???
I feel ANNOYED!! For Real!!! X(
I'm annoyed with somebody which i'm not gonna tell who. I've tried my best lately, to keep my distance from her, but she seems to get on my nerves. I don't understand what she wants, i don't know how she thinks.. And one day i hope i can measure her skin face, which one is thicker, hers or rhinoceros.
Ok, let me tell you.. I'm a very logical person somehow. I'll try my best to not hurt somebody who never mess with my heart. But this girl, she didn't mess with my heart but mess with my patient. I got my limit ok?!! Last semester she already tried her best to piss me off with all her weird attitude. It felt like heaven when she left, but who knows that she come back again...
One thing that i really admire from her is: HER OVER SELF CONFIDENCE!! that she felt as if she's cute, the best and lovely.. Owh please, i gonna puke now.. :s
I'm not trying to be the biatch that i hate, which is dumping friends in such a terrible manner.. But, i really can't hold my sanity anymore.. If i did not scream somewhere sure i gonna finish her off when i meet her..
Ohh, God forgive me lately, because i keep on gossiping about her.. I pray that one day she's able to introspect herself..

and one more message for her: DO NOT TRY SNIFF ON OTHER PEOPLE PROBLEMS IF YOU DON'T EVEN CARE FOR THEM! I KEEP MY FRIENDS PRIVACY, SO DO NOT TRY TO SNIFF IT FROM ME CUZ I MIGHT HIT YOUR NOSE WITH MY SHOES!!
AND IF YOU NEED PEOPLE HELP DO NOT BE SOO KIND AS IF YOU ARE AN ANGEL, JUST TELL ON THEIR FACE THAT U NEED THEM.. BECAUSE I HATE HYPOCRISY THE MOST!!!