Friends...
Hm.. I wonder with a certain people that walk in and out in my life. Each one of them have some special personalities that i need to understand. But, on the other hand there is also certain people i cannot understand. Yeah, she can think she's special.. Yes, indeed she is very special...
For me, from the bottom of heart, friends are a precious things.. Who are you without them? Even having a friend, if she can love you so much and sacrifice anything for you, it was the best things in the world. Don't try to teach me the meaning of betrayal, i felt it, last year. It was damn painful. When your first friends in Malaysia, the people you trust the most, the people you appreciate them most, just tell you that they actually don't need you. The people you think as your family here use another person account to chat and humiliate you there. They said you are a bitch, fucking annoying, useless, slow and princess type who cannot do anything. It took me one year to told you everything that they said because, whenever i wanna tell to people last time, i end up crying and cannot said anything. You might said i exaggerating it, it's fine. But for me, i'm alone here and to find friends who can be a family to me, is priceless.
So then, when i see this certain creature i'm beyond shock. Ok, to make it clearer, let me compare it with my last friends...
She: everyone try to accept her, even how annoying she is, everyone still celebrate her birthday, still help her when she needs, still worried about her.. Even how much you be bossy to them and said a bad thing to them..
Me: last time, they force to me like them and i can't be myself. I tried to hard please them and they don't care. When they saw me sick, they don't even wanna look. When i need help, they don't even offer their help. When it's my birthday, NONE OF THEM SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. So, clear, CAN YOU REFLECT HOW DAMN LUCKY YOU ARE?
She: when you do annoying stuff they tell you nicely, even though you never want to listen. When you make a lame joke they tried to laugh even how lame it is. When they unintentionally left you out, they said sorry
Me: last time, if i do annoying stuff they don't mind to shout to me in front of everyone and humiliate me. When i made a lame joke sometimes they just stay quiet and sometimes pretend not to hear anything. When they unintentionally left me out they just say "oh" and don't even bother (i'm not sure until now whether they unintentionally or intentionally do that).. SO?? YOU ARE A LUCKY GIRL ok???
She: Even though how much they angry at you, they just curse you a while and it gone.. The next day they will hug you will full smile..
Me: ME?? Of course, they use another person account to humiliate me and the next day "LIA, ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU?" (as if they did not do it yesterday).. And until now, i never hear a single sorry word from them, and they already think everything between us is ok..
Now, you are the luckiest person in the world, to find those kind of friends on your first year.. Not like me.. So why, i don't understand, when they tried to correct you, you scold them, angry at them, as if your are the goddess of righteousness. I think you yourself had realize, this time all senior tried avoid you, and now you tried to approach the junior. I did not forbid you, but why, instead of mend the broken relationship with your senior or your first junior, you make it worse? But on the other hand you tried so hard to find friends. Girls, we all here for you.. Even me.. You said a positivist, but you can't even see the positive side.. You ignore those who love you and find a new one...
Let me remind you, you can stay that way. But friends are human and human have feelings and feelings have its time. When the times is up, everything is gone. You won't be able to mend it anymore. And when you not able to mend it, you screwed.. Trust me, i think i'm 60% sure i saw the future of you in someone else and i pray hard for you to not be like her. But if that is path that you have chosen, i'll appreciate it. It's you life, it's your choice.
Let me take it as a reminder to myself.. and to everyone who ever did that way to their friends. I'm not prefect, i might hurt my friends too.. If i do, i would like to say I'm very sorry..
For me, from the bottom of heart, friends are a precious things.. Who are you without them? Even having a friend, if she can love you so much and sacrifice anything for you, it was the best things in the world. Don't try to teach me the meaning of betrayal, i felt it, last year. It was damn painful. When your first friends in Malaysia, the people you trust the most, the people you appreciate them most, just tell you that they actually don't need you. The people you think as your family here use another person account to chat and humiliate you there. They said you are a bitch, fucking annoying, useless, slow and princess type who cannot do anything. It took me one year to told you everything that they said because, whenever i wanna tell to people last time, i end up crying and cannot said anything. You might said i exaggerating it, it's fine. But for me, i'm alone here and to find friends who can be a family to me, is priceless.
So then, when i see this certain creature i'm beyond shock. Ok, to make it clearer, let me compare it with my last friends...
She: everyone try to accept her, even how annoying she is, everyone still celebrate her birthday, still help her when she needs, still worried about her.. Even how much you be bossy to them and said a bad thing to them..
Me: last time, they force to me like them and i can't be myself. I tried to hard please them and they don't care. When they saw me sick, they don't even wanna look. When i need help, they don't even offer their help. When it's my birthday, NONE OF THEM SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. So, clear, CAN YOU REFLECT HOW DAMN LUCKY YOU ARE?
She: when you do annoying stuff they tell you nicely, even though you never want to listen. When you make a lame joke they tried to laugh even how lame it is. When they unintentionally left you out, they said sorry
Me: last time, if i do annoying stuff they don't mind to shout to me in front of everyone and humiliate me. When i made a lame joke sometimes they just stay quiet and sometimes pretend not to hear anything. When they unintentionally left me out they just say "oh" and don't even bother (i'm not sure until now whether they unintentionally or intentionally do that).. SO?? YOU ARE A LUCKY GIRL ok???
She: Even though how much they angry at you, they just curse you a while and it gone.. The next day they will hug you will full smile..
Me: ME?? Of course, they use another person account to humiliate me and the next day "LIA, ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU?" (as if they did not do it yesterday).. And until now, i never hear a single sorry word from them, and they already think everything between us is ok..
Now, you are the luckiest person in the world, to find those kind of friends on your first year.. Not like me.. So why, i don't understand, when they tried to correct you, you scold them, angry at them, as if your are the goddess of righteousness. I think you yourself had realize, this time all senior tried avoid you, and now you tried to approach the junior. I did not forbid you, but why, instead of mend the broken relationship with your senior or your first junior, you make it worse? But on the other hand you tried so hard to find friends. Girls, we all here for you.. Even me.. You said a positivist, but you can't even see the positive side.. You ignore those who love you and find a new one...
Let me remind you, you can stay that way. But friends are human and human have feelings and feelings have its time. When the times is up, everything is gone. You won't be able to mend it anymore. And when you not able to mend it, you screwed.. Trust me, i think i'm 60% sure i saw the future of you in someone else and i pray hard for you to not be like her. But if that is path that you have chosen, i'll appreciate it. It's you life, it's your choice.
Let me take it as a reminder to myself.. and to everyone who ever did that way to their friends. I'm not prefect, i might hurt my friends too.. If i do, i would like to say I'm very sorry..
posted by natalia at
3:29 PM
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