Dilemma

I just feel that i'm out of this world. All my friends is busy, they have their own university live and seems like they don't care about me. I'm tired, my friends at there start to forget about me. I know since the start i was nothing for them. The just found me as something entertaining and forget me in the end. And because of my own stupidity, i love them...
God, this world just too unfair. I want to froze my heart at this moment, just like what they do. I want to easily throwing my friends away, so i wont feel lonely, i wont feel betrayed, yet i can laugh on their sadness. But, like what i said before, maybe i'm too stupid.. Yes i am..
When i saw them having fun, forgetting about me, i just feel like "is it so nice for you to have fun with someone that YOU NEED and someday you'll throw away?" sometimes i feel like i pity them, but i want to be like them, so i won't feel the bitterness of friendship.
God, is it possible to freeze my heart?? If it is, then i want... If only i can put my heart in the fridge then ill put it there, so when i take it, i can put it on frying pan and fry it.. hahahaha *lame joke* T.T

hrrm... Maybe is better for someone if they don't have any heart, so they won't cry over anything....

my mood is totally mess right now, every time i think of them... Y_Y